San Francisco is My Home

24
Sep

Words, words, words

Author: kris, Category: Events, Literature

This is the week I wait for all year long, for this week begins the San Francisco Library giant book sale.

The sale takes place in an enormous warehouse at the lovely Fort Mason, and it is filled to the brim with used and new books on every subject. If you go in the early days of the sale (Thursday through Saturday), most books are around two or three dollars. Come back on Sunday and everything is a dollar or less.

Even if you are not a reader, the study of human folly is well worth the price of a bus trip, as thousands and thousands of bibliophiles come out of the woodwork and engage in subdued near-fistfights over the boxed set of Trollope or the 18th century cookbook one of them found in the humor section.

21
Sep

Front-of-house Usher

Author: kris, Category: News

An acclaimed production of Sweeney Todd is playing at the A.C.T. through the middle of October. If, like me, you would love to see this but can’t bear to shell out $35 for the cheap seats, you might try being a volunteer usher. I’ve done it before and it’s a great way to see a show for free.

Once you’ve been assigned a date, you show up wearing modest all-black clothes, get posted at a door with a stack of programs to hand out, and then spend the show either standing in the back or sitting in an empty seat if there are any. There are some stools in the back as well, and a spot to sit on the floor, where you can hear but not see. At intermission, you’ll be stationed somewhere to answer questions, or maybe by the door to backstage to stop people going through it. If you get stationed there, do not, as I did, try to stop the director from going through, especially not if he’s in a big hurry. You might also be asked to collect programs from the seats after the show, although I wasn’t.

To volunteer, you can call 415.439.2349. More info here.

19
Sep

Smile

Author: kris, Category: Food, Seen, Shopping

Sometimes in the middle of the day you dash down to Cafe Flore for a quick cup of coffee in the sun. Once you’re there, the cute barrista might say, with evident sincerity, “Do you know that you have a fantastic smile?”

“Thanks,” you say. And then what other option do you have but to toss your fifty cents of change into the tip jar? Even though all he did was fill a cup from the coffee urn and hand it to you, you can’t not tip after such a nice compliment. Right?

Those quarters would have been useful for laundry, but I guess sometimes social niceties have to trump clean clothes.

18
Sep

And now, your moment of men…

Author: kris, Category: News, People, Seen

Assemblyman Mark Leno held a press conference at the LGBT Center, urging the Governor to sign a bill that would validate gay marriage. There was a Franciscan friar standing up near the front (they’re the ones in the brown robes, right?) taking pictures.

I left when people were starting to prepare for the march down Market Street, and overtook the friar, who had left before me. He was standing on Market in his robe and a baseball cap, chatting amiably with a homeless man.

“Chinese girls get me hot,” the homeless guy was saying, sounding confessional and a little worried. “But white girls are great, too.” It was obvious from his voice that he was on the horns of a real dilemma.

“Well, good luck with that,” the friar said cheerfully, straightened his cap and walked on into the falling dark.

18
Sep

A breakaway pop hit

Author: kris, Category: Events

This Friday and Saturday (September 21 and 22), the Landmark Bridge Theater on Geary Street will show midnight viewings of the musical episode from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Now you might not believe Buffy to be one of the top three best television shows of our time (the other two being Firefly and The Office), but you are, in fact, wrong. And the top Buffy episode of all time is of course the musical episode, “Once More With Feeling.”

Let’s say, though, that you cannot agree with the above, for whatever reason. That’s okay. The show is still going to be one heck of a hootenanny (”chock full of hoot with just a little bit of nanny,” -Oz), with delirious fans dressed up as their favorite characters, and — the best part — singing along.

Great big nerdfest? Totally. Just the sort of thing this city thrives on. So come on down and say hello; I’ll be the girl wearing the t-shirt that says “Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea.”

Well, I do like tea.

17
Sep

Why don’t you get a FasTrak?

Author: kris, Category: News

Why don’t you get a FasTrak? For the low, low price of $0, you can get a chunky square of plastic that adheres to the inside of your windshield. Whenever you pass through a Bay Area tollbooth, the magic toll-taking robot reads your FasTrak and the toll payment is automatically deducted from your account. You barely have to slow down. So why? Why don’t you? Why don’t you get a FasTrak?

Why don’t you get a FasTrak? Imagine if everyone traveling across the Bay Bridge at rush hour had one. No more holdups while toll takers write down the license plate numbers of people who’ve forgotten to bring money. No more infuriating reminder that the toll is up to $4 now. Why don’t you get a FasTrak? Why don’t we all?

13
Sep

Dog Eared Books

Author: kris, Category: Shopping

Even if you swear by Green Apple Books, with its huge selection and its close proximity to the gastronomical awesomeness that is Burma Superstar, still you must admit that Dog Eared Books is also an excellent used bookstore.

To begin with, there is the free bin outside, which occasionally has some gems. Once I found a whole book of Henry James short stories in there, and the fact that it was missing its cover and that I turned out to already own it did not detract from the excitement of getting free Henry James.

Also, there is the bargain bin, next to the free bin, where you can find everything from Wonder Woman comics to a whole set of hardbound Louis L’Amour westerns to — as today — about 20 Baby Sitter’s Club Little Sister books, and who knew that was even a series?

As if this weren’t enough, it is in the Mission, often the sunniest part of the city, and if you happen to be walking there from the Castro you can go past the mouthwatering smells of the bakery called Tartine and the glowing mural on the Women’s Building. It’s a sensory overload and I love it. Check it out.

13
Sep

Where the lions sleep

Author: kris, Category: Landmarks

The most horrifying gathering of tourists and chain stores in San Francisco has to be in the Pier 39/Fisherman’s Wharf area. My dad still remembers when Fisherman’s Wharf had credibility, in the form of actual salty-dog sailors who would gather, eat, drink and occasionally fight, as sailors do. No longer. Now this is the place where you can mass with several million of your fellow visitors to purchase SF-themed schlock and mass-produced clam chowder in a bread bowl. In short, this is where you come to buy the stuff that proves you’ve been here to buy the stuff.

Guilty secret? Many of the locals also love it here. I hop a bus down to Fisherman’s Wharf two or three times a year. I like hanging over the railing and watching our huge colony of sea lions barking and flipping over one another out in the water. I like buying overpriced fudge from the store in Pier 39, and occasionally hitting the arcade. I even like the tourists, because most of them look happy to be here in this city I love, even if the area bears little resemblance to the rest of town.

And sometimes, yes, I am tempted to buy a t-shirt, or a shot glass that says “I heart SF.” But then I remember I can get such things for much cheaper at any Walgreen’s in my neighborhood, and I restrain myself.

11
Sep

Five things to do in a San Francisco summer

Author: kris, Category: Food, Landmarks, Nature, Seen, Shopping

San Francisco has its summery moments, but spends a lot of its time wrapped in a blanket of fog and overcast skies. True San Franciscans know better than to defer their summer pleasures just because the weather is sulking. Here are five great activities to enjoy on a freezing summer day:

1. Get a double ginger ice cream cone from the new Bi-Rite Creamery. Walk around Dolores Park with it, wiping your forehead and loudly saying “Whew, this cold ice cream really hits the spot on a day like today!”

2. Go clamber around on the rocks at Ocean Beach. PLEASE NOTE: When the rocks are wet it is possible to slip and fall and hit your head. Don’t do that.

3. Order a pitcher of beer at Zeitgeist’s outdoor patio. You might get a whole table to yourself. If you get bored, start a beer fight with any bikers sitting near you. If they object, tell them you thought they would appreciate being doused, considering the temperature.

4. Two words: pedal boats! You can rent these at Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park. If you pedal hard, you won’t shiver. As much.

5. Drive to the top of Twin Peaks and check out the famous view of the city. Be sure to take lots of pictures, no matter what the wind chill factor is.

10
Sep

The Pit of Despair: Embarcadero Center

Author: kris, Category: News

I got lost in the Embarcadero Center downtown today, not for the first time. I think it might have been designed as an obscure test. Not a multiple choice test, though. More like an essay test, or one with a lot of word problems.

Some say the Marina Safeway is the best pickup joint in town. I contend that it’s actually the Embarcadero Center. Wandering around lost, trying and failing to understand the incomprehensible signs and maps printed in cheery colors on posts around the complex, you encounter other lost souls with whom you strike up conversations. Eventually your paths lead in the same direction as you search in vain for exits, your attorney’s office, or the cinema you know is around here somewhere. The despair and frustration you experience feel a lot like the symptoms of a crush. It’s possible to meet, fall in love, get married and baptize your first child within the confines of the Embarcadero Center, except for those last two things. So next time you’re in need of a date, wander down there and get lost for an hour. But do yourself a favor: bring bread crumbs. Lots of bread crumbs.