San Francisco is My Home

31
Oct

Earthquake!

Author: kris, Category: News

Remember that time that I was so cavalier about earthquakes? Well, we had a 5.6 last night and I am not laughing now.

Actually, now I am laughing, but at the time not so much. That sucker was long. My thought process was: What’s going on? Is this an earthquake? No. Wait, is it? No. I mean, it’s still going on though. No. Okay, yes. Doorway!

Then I stood in the doorway for a while and watch the lamp rattle and thought about the pictures of what happened to some of the buildings in the Loma Prieta quake and hoped my apartment wouldn’t fall down.

It didn’t. And none of my neighbors even came out into the hall afterwards, in a building full of people who flock out into the hall at any excuse: power outage, solicitor in the building, decorating parties, friendly chats. (Seriously, guys: it would have killed you to step out into the hall and reassure me a little?) So I figured everything was fine, and it was, even though today’s Chron is naturally full of dire predictions. (”Sure, it’s fine this time…but what about next time?“) I guess you’ve got to fill your 500 words somehow, even if your headline pretty much tells the whole story.

I am still unafraid of the tiny shocks and rolls we normally get. But a 5.6 is, well, unsettling. Ah well, at least it gave me something to blog about today.

30
Oct

Baby Faces of Comedy

Author: kris, Category: Comedy, Events

Don’t miss tonight’s Baby Faces of Comedy Tour at 12 Galaxies (which I need to write a post about later, remind me).

What is Baby Faces of Comedy? In the words of my favorite baby-faced comedian, Sean Keane, “For a long time…[founder] Joe Gorman would tell anyone who would listen about his brilliant plan for a comedy showcase: a lineup made up of only comics with youthful, child-like features. Spike Lee made The Original Kings of Comedy. Patton Oswalt has The Comedians of Comedy. This would follow in their footsteps as the Baby Faces of Comedy Tour.”

The show is happening tonight at 9 pm. For a mere $8, you can enjoy the comedic stylings of six rosy-cheeked, childlike stand-up artists. And for an extra $2, Sean Keane will perform his entire routine sucking on a pacifier and fake-crying.*

*No.

29
Oct

Arsonist threatens Grace Cathedral

Author: kris, Category: News

There was some unexpected arson at this year’s Burning Man festival. As you’ve probably heard, this year’s giant man was set alight a few days prematurely by a fellow who claimed he wanted to restore spontaneity and anarchy to the festival. The giant man is created every year to be set alight on the last night of the festival. This is the event from which the festival takes its name.

I do think it’s a little funny that all these free-wheeling folks got so mad about the early burning. The festival was originally intended as a way for artists to have a colony of creation without a lot of rules and regulations attached, but over the years it’s grown an expensive, bureaucratic exoskeleton that seems to contradict the happy-go-lucky air of earlier years.

However, I don’t think it’s funny at all that the same guy was arrested yesterday on charges of intending to burn down SF’s Grace Cathedral. I love that cathedral. You can take a free weekly yoga class there. They exhibit the AIDS Memorial Quilt when it tours through the city. It also boasts an outdoor and an indoor labyrinth: despite what the movie Labyrinth implied, a labyrinth is not a maze but a repeating pattern. Walking the pattern is a meditative process, and so far as I know, the cathedral’s labyrinths do not feature singing Muppet goblins, talking Muppet worms, or David Bowie.

This Episcopalian cathedral is beautiful, and is an important venue for many community services, and I am baffled as to why anyone would want to harm it. However, this fellow has not had a trial yet, so I am reserving judgment.

26
Oct

Day of the Dead

Author: kris, Category: Events

We don’t talk about death a lot in America. I imagine most people are relived about that, but I find it a little creepy. I’d rather have some sense that our dearly departed retain a place in our lives even after they’re gone.

That’s why I like the Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos if you want to say it all correct-like. SF has been throwing a DotD celebration for the past 29 years and this year is no exception. The official procession will take place on November 2 at 7:00 p.m., beginning at 24th & Bryant in the Mission. There’s also the festival of altars at Garfield Park, where everyone is encouraged to create an altar in honor of those you’ve lost. It should be a beautiful, strange, moving thing to see, and I encourage everyone to attend.

26
Oct

National Novel Writing Month

Author: kris, Category: Events, News

November is National Novel Writing Month. This is a writing project that began in the Bay Area with just a handful of people, but over the years has expanded into a nation-wide event.

The challenge is to write 50,000 words of a novel in just one month. The fun part is that many, many thousands of people are trying to do exactly what you’re doing, and there are write-ins, parties and online forums to help you share the misery with the other participants.

The kick-off party for San Francisco is happening this Saturday, October 27, from 7 - 10 pm at Olive. After that, you can sign up for any number of writing groups in the city, or meet up with writing buddies through the forums, or just check the boards every day for your dose of friendly support. Me, I’ll be meeting some writers on Tuesdays at Cafe H from 12:00 - 2:30, unless I chicken out. This is a meeting to write together, not to read our work to one another. If you’re signed up for NaNoWriMo and you want to join us, everyone is welcome.

26
Oct

We Be The Echo at Bottom of the Hill

Author: kris, Category: Events, Music

Last night I went to Bottom of the Hill to see We Be The Echo math-rock the house.

The sign outside Bottom of the Hill is blue neon and reminds me of the Cave Train ride at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. You know how some neon looks dirty and rugged and makes you think of noir films and cheap motels? This neon is friendly and looks G-rated. Why is that? Maybe because the letters are kind of rounded and cartoony. I would not be surprised to enter Bottom of the Hill and see a couple of animatronic cavemen clunkily playing rock-based instruments.

But actually what I saw was We Be The Echo, none of whom look like cavemen or play their instruments in any way clunkily. They play instrumental rock and are very entertaining live. I watched the bassist a lot, because he spends most of his time playing in this really uncomfortable-looking lean, almost like he’s sitting in an invisible chair. I was sometimes distracted from the music while I worried about what this posture must be doing to his lumbar region. Maybe entertaining isn’t the word I want for this. Worrying? They are very worrying live.

Man, they are going to Google themselves and find this and then I’m going to get letters. “Worrying? Seriously? That’s the best plug you could give us?” Guys, I am a huge fan of your music. But that thing Mike does with his back, it’s not healthy. Come on.

Potential injuries aside, I do really like their music, and judging from the size of the crowd I’m not the only one. It is no small feat to pack Bottom of the Hill. A complete stranger put it best: I was outside getting some air while the band played, and two guys, obviously coming to see the next band, walked up to the door.

“Is that them?” one guy asked.

“No,” the other guy snorted scornfully. “Listen to them. That’s a real band.”

So there you have it. Out of the mouths of babes, or at least reasonably good-looking guys: We Be The Echo is a real band. Check them out here.

25
Oct

Pelicans

Author: kris, Category: Landmarks, Nature

I love Ocean Beach, but when you want more private, contemplative beach experience it’s all about China Beach. Located next to the stately Seacliff mansions, the beach is a tiny patch of sand and rock facing the Golden Gate Bridge and foggy hills of Marin.

I had lunch at China Beach with my dad today, taking advantage of the recent heatwave to get some facetime with the ocean. Naturally, this meant that the heatwave cooled off today, but it was still totally acceptable weather for an SF beach: cool, breezy, with patches of sun and roaming fog banks. We sat in our deck chairs and ate deli sandwiches and watched the container ships gliding back and forth.
“I was so disappointed when I first got to the city and saw the Golden Gate bridge,” my dad said. “I thought it would be golden.” We both contemplated the reddish bridge for a while, munching our sandwiches.

“They could at least paint it more of an orangey-red,” I said finally. “Then again, that would be a pretty massive rebranding project.”

“Pelicans,” my dad agreed. And then we watched some pelicans for a while.

24
Oct

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

Author: kris, Category: Groups

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are an activist group who dress as nuns, in an over-the-top, Mardi Gras way, and can often be seen roaming the city in full, fabulous regalia.

The Sisters, an organization which, like me, has been around since ‘79, have raised over $1 million in San Francisco, money they’ve donated to breast cancer research, a free clinic, a prom for queer youth and other gay activist organizations. They coined the term “safe sex” when the AIDS epidemic first hit, as they passed out educational pamphlets in the community. They also host a children’s Halloween party with costume prizes and performances, to ensure Castro kids have a safe holiday.

Recently, some of the Sisters received communion from a local priest, who later apologized for giving it to them. A lot of Catholics are also up in arms that these fellas are dressing like nuns and mocking the sacrament.

I guess if someone roamed the neighborhood dressed as a Mardi Gras version of me, I might be kind of hurt and maybe would not invite that person over for dinner. Then again, if he used that parody of me to perform charity work, arrange kid-friendly holiday parties, prevent the spread of a deadly disease and fight for equality, maybe I could find it in me to forgive the mockery and embrace the good works he performed. Maybe I could stand to eat with him. Maybe just a little bread and wine.

23
Oct

Halloween outside the Castro

Author: kris, Category: Events, Groups

In an effort to assist my municipal government in their crackdown on Castro Halloween fun, I’ve come up with a few alternative activities you might try this year. Don’t come to the Castro, remember. We’ll all be lying under the windows with the lights off, praying you go away. Instead, why not try something a little spookier this year? Like…

Who you gonna call?

The San Francisco Ghost Hunt, of course. This is a three hour walking tour of some notoriously haunted spots around the city. Check out the photos page showing actual ghosts, although they kind of look like thumb prints to me. But then, I’m no expert.

If you prefer a DIY ghost hunt, you can travel to some of the hotspots all on your own. The Sutro Baths are supposed to be haunted: stand in the tunnel and leave a lit candle at the end. Supposedly a woman will come and take it away. But this is no park ranger! No, this is a wandering soul with, I guess, a thing about candles. I’ve always wanted to bring a group down here and get someone to dress up in white with glow-in-the-dark makeup who will come take our candle away, scaring the heck out of my friends and earning me twenty dollars. (In this daydream, you see, I have bet everyone that a woman will show up to take our candle.)

From Dracula to Angel, there is no hotter monster…

Ghost hunting is transparently cheesy (like this pun), right? In that case, check out the Vampire Tour. Spooky Mistress Mina Burns will walk you through the city, telling you the history of San Francisco and its vampires, a history she swears is at least “85% true.” Costumes are encouraged.

Listen, I’ve got a five year old…

I promised to start including some kid-friendly activities, but in this case another site has me beat. San Francisco Kids Net is a great resource for kid-friendly Halloween activities: everything from silly-fun haunted houses to pumpkin patches to safety tips.

And here is my own personal safety tip: don’t trick-or-treat in the Castro. Remember, locked doors. Lights out. We’ll be in hiding.

22
Oct

The sheeted dead did squeak and gibber and stab each other

Author: kris, Category: News

I don’t know what your Halloween plans are, but if you were thinking about coming to the Castro, don’t bother. The party is canceled.

The Castro Halloween celebration has been going on for many years. It began as a spontaneous street party, as the fantastically costumed residents emerged in their feathers and facepaint to rock out through the holiday that is sometimes called the gay Christmas.  Gradually, the party began to attract outsiders. And then, inevitably, tourists. Now about half the people you see aren’t wearing a costume at all — the ultimate social gaffe in a neighborhood that takes costumes seriously all year long, and especially on this most holy of days — and the crowds are overwhelming. In the last few years we’ve had some exciting violence, everything from people being trampled to stabbed to shot, and often the crowds are packed so tightly that it’s impossible for people to get out or ambulances and medical personnel and cops to get in. Nine people were injured in last year’s shooting.

Fun as this touristy, violent party must sound, this year it has been officially canceled. Many stores in the area are displaying signs indicating that they’ll be closed on the night (though some who can’t afford to turn away the business will be staying open) and the Castro Theater is sporting a huge banner reminding people that the party is off. The whole neighborhood has the tense, hunkered-down air of a French coastal village where Viking ships have been sighted on the horizon.

So how do you convince several thousand people, many of whom don’t even live in the city, that there’s nothing doing this year? The answer is obvious, right? Get rid of the toilets. Unlike all previous years, no portable toilets will be put on the streets for revelers. Yes, that will show them.

Oh no, sorry. I mean us. That will show us. When the people still show up, then wind up peeing all over my and my neighbors’ flowerbeds, we are the ones who will be shown. Although the city is planning to spring for extra cops, so at least after the revelers water our lawns they will be arrested. Yes, that makes us feel better.

So what have we learned from this?

1.  Don’t come to Halloween in the Castro this year.

2. If you do come, don’t wear a costume — that’s so last season.

3.  If you must wear a costume, do not, whatever you do, dress up as a port-a-potty.