San Francisco is My Home

13
Nov

More on the oil spill

Author: kris, Category: Nature, News

One of the Chron website’s top headlines this morning reads “Cargo vessel may have strayed from its course before striking bridge and gashing its side, records show.”

May have strayed from its course?

I was worried it was too soon, but I guess if the Chronicle can be funny about the oil spill then I can too. And so I present to you five possible ways to make lemonade from the newly-oiled San Francisco Bay:

1. Declare it a swimmin’ hole for the Tin Man.

2.  Turn ferry building into refinery, Coit Tower into giant gas station. Rake in profits.

3. Use natural disaster as an excuse to admonish other political leaders in an attempt to appear helpful and concerned, fooling no one.

4.  Three words: dead bird soup!

5. Do nothing. Oil is the new water.