San Francisco is My Home

29
Feb

No loitering

Author: kris, Category: Bars and Clubs, News

On Tuesday, our Supes — call them Supervisors or Superstars, it all depends on whether they’re being idiots or geniuses on any given day — will discuss a proposed legislation banning anyone from loitering outside a nightclub for more than 180 seconds between 9 pm and 3 am.

I know what you’re thinking: what the hell is a nightclub? The closest thing we’ve got is Harry Denton’s Starlight Room. But assuming they just mean normal clubs, I still know what you’re thinking: what about smokers? Fear not, my magic dragons, for smokers will be exempt from this rule.

The legislation is an effort to cut down on violent crime. What it would essentially mean is that violent criminals would still be free to lurk and skulk where butterflies of the night gather, but they’d have to be holding a cigarette or risk being hassled. Is this a longterm death penalty from our uber-liberal Supes? Are we condemning these criminals to a life of addiction, gradually ending in horrible, cancerous deaths? And as an added side benefit, most of them would also develop fierce hacking coughs which would alert any potential victims to the skulker in the shadows.

Again, I pose the question: Supervisors? Or Superstars? I just never know.