San Francisco is My Home

11
Oct

We will NOT kill your children

Author: kris, Category: News

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The Chronicle online always has one or two headlines dealing with child-related news. If they’re not failing tests then their toys are being recalled, or they’re being abducted, or worse. (There’s a weird implication here that the city is crawling with parents eager to read the very latest about kid stuff, when actually we have more dogs living in San Francisco than children. That sounds like a statistic I would make up, but in this case it’s really true.)

Of course, the Chron is distributed throughout the whole Bay Area, where plenty of paranoid parents are eagerly awaiting their grisly child-trauma news to read with their morning coffee. Between the caffeine and the panic, the Bay Area must have some very headless-chicken mornings.

But I had a point here, which was that the Chron has outdone itself today with the following onslaught of headlines:

Kids’ cold medicines pulled

Richmond man accused of forcing teen into prostitution

Arrest in girl’s abduction

Prof charged in kid porn case

Mother questioned in death of boy, 9

Despite what you might think after reading the Chron today, the Bay Area does not mean certain death to children. We have many child-friendly activities. In fact, I’m going to make it my mission to write up at least three or four family-friendly activities each month. Because if someone doesn’t do something, our paper is going to scare everyone away.

Then again, maybe if it did I could finally afford to buy a house here…